I enjoy chasing windmills, belittling mimes, wrestling giraffes, chasing my dreams with a pointy stick, reading, writing, plundering, pillaging, and ignoring the mysteries of the universe.

Introspective. Unrepentant and unapologetic bibliomaniac. Far too punctual. Maestro of misadventure. Artistic, when provoked. Visual learner. Simultaneously find chimpanzees in business suits both humorous and deplorable. Frequently suffer from delusions of grandeur. Exasperated and agitated with conservatism. Prone to idealism. Find gnomes amusing. Loud noises tend to startle me. Revel in the moments that I can make others laugh. Sunburn very easily. View violence as a weakness and a marker of an underdeveloped mind. Have been to Heaven and Hell. Climbed Purgatory. Enjoy forests and mountains, not so keen on beaches. Find dancing uncomfortable and intimidating, but it doesn't stop me from doing a mean string dance. Was once stalked by a mime in South America. Convinced someone once to let me drive a zamboni. Excavated a 1200 year-old brewery, but found the drinks on tap unsatisfactory. Was nearly stranded on Lake Titicaca. Rode a camel in a forest of stone penises in Asia Minor. Never been to a Starbucks. Was almost mauled by a pack of dogs in the mountains of northern Peru. Located the crack of dawn and successfully caulked it. Find it remarkable that everyone in Paris has a window overlooking the Eiffel Tower.