The first step in a cunning plan by the world’s penguins to enslave all of humanity, “Doug Berry” is actually a giant (for them) battle robot piloted by a crack team of fairy penguins (Eudyptula minor) and disguised to appear as a slightly odd truck driver and occasional writer of role-playing games.

Doug lists his religion as "Orthodox Baseball, Giants Synod" and is an Absolute Monarchist, as long as he gets to be the monarch. Or at least the power behind the throne. Musically his tastes can be described as "vast." Anything from Gregorian chants to Thrash Metal.

Terrifyingly, the Doug-bot has married, and lives among the unsuspecting citizens of Santa Clara . The bot has survived both Hodgkin’s Disease and the 2002 World Series with minimal complications.

The only way to keep the Doug-bot from carrying out its horrible mission is to feed it lots of Coca-Cola. That, and tacos… Penguins love tacos.

The Doug-bot needs a better camera.