Hi everyone, I want to be transgender and I love behaving and dressing like a woman every day. I have been trying all of my adult life to live the transgender lifestyle and to find a way to become the person I had always dreamed of becoming. The way i feel now when i am wearing women's clothing is better and allows me to become what i have been feeling all my life. I don't know whether I'm going to be any more than I am now but I'm learning to live with what I do have instead worrying about what I don't have. I am not attracted to men and I do not wish to start a relationship or meet with any man. " If I had a preference, I would choose a WHITE MALE over 60 who knows how to treat a lady and is very loving and care about me. He must have his own place and drives a nice car and is a gentleman who is very nice looking and handsome, clean and dresses nice and a great kisser and does not have a disease." I grew up in a poverty environment and my mother scrubbed floors to keep food on the table for my 10 brothers and sisters (6 brothers and 4 sisters). We never had much but my mom raised us as best she could. I was beat up every day by boys in school and boys in my neighborhood.

But I hold nothing against the bullies because I knew they were dysfunctional and many of them grew up in the same situation as I did.

I have prayed many years to GOD the Father to please change me into a female and slowly but surely, I am becoming the woman I always dreamed of becoming with the mercy of Jesus Christ. For most of my life I turned to crossdressing as a means of escaping the Male side, which accomplished nothing forgive me Lord...! And what do I hope to accomplish if by some miracle I became fully transgender complete with breast implants and genital surgery? Peace of mind, enjoyment of life and to be loved and needed and cared for everyday by someone nice caring for me and loving me unconditional. Now I relish the day when I can find someone nice sweet and caring to spend my life with and love me as a woman needed to be loved. My goal is to be loved and accepted as female. Being a mature transgender woman is not an easy thing to do. One of the most difficult things to do as a transgender woman is dealing with loneliness, I am alone but until I complete my transition, I'm going to have to be alone all by myself. I guess it's Okay to be alone at this time because I'm still trying accomplish getting the necessary surgeries started and underway. love Patricia