I am a 73 year old transgender, I try my best to emulate the female as best as I can in the most respecting way, I do not and will not directly or indirectly act in any way that will denigrate women in our society. I admire women, I admire them so much I want to be one. I have spent time as one as much as I can, all throughout my life, starting when I was 9. I admire all of women's fashion and the beautiful clothes, they get to wear and mingle and match to get their look just right. Also the makeup and hair style that enhances their feminine and beautiful appearance. I am not interested in competing with or against women in any way. I am humble when in public as I can never be as feminine or beautiful as a natural born female. I appreciate the opportunity to be a woman even if sometimes it is only for a short time.

I have lived most of my life with an internal conflict of who I wanted to be and what I had to be when it came to gender. I Grew up in an era that I had to hide my natural instincts to be feminine. Dressing up as a female was a relief of the conflict and stress and I felt at ease and happy with myself. I soon realized and accepted that I should have been a female. When I moved out of my parents’ house and lived alone, I was able to dress up a lot, this was curtailed when I got married. I always knew in the society I grew up in, that I would have to be a male, that is what life dealt me, a 50:50 chance. So I got married and had children. This set me on a course to live as a man. I still dressed up secretly.

We divorced and I went back to dressing up almost 24/7. My second relationship, she soon found out I was a crossdresser, I could not give it up, I had been waiting all my life. She was understanding and did not run away, she was very helpful and enjoyed helping me fulfil my dream. We got married after a couple of years. She continues to guide and coach me in fashion, makeup, etiquette and mannerisms so as not to embarrass or present myself in a manner that would be unacceptable to women.

The time period during my younger years, society was not acceptable to men who wanted to cross over, had it been as acceptable as it is today, I would have definitely made the transition before embarking on the path I am on today. My desire to be a woman is so extremely strong. I am so fortunate to be where I am now. My wife is cautious about me dressing up around the neighborhood, but we go out together where we feel it is safe from family and friends.

Still a fantasy to be a full-time woman and experience all the joys women have, had I been able to transition young, I would have immensely enjoyed being able to grow as girl into a woman and lived thru the experience and changes of growing up as a female. I am too far along in life on my other path to make the complete transition, would not be fair to my children and family.