I am oddly enough a Heterosexual Cross-Dressing male that is seeking his genetically born female lover! I have made myself and accomplished all my life goals to present by myself; just seeking a CIS female girly girl lover with a tomboyish side to her too. I have been a lifelong cross dresser from age 12 to present. I have in the past several years since retiring from my career and raising my son and daughter on my own taken the time to develop and refine my cross-dressing lifestyle. I welcome other Cross Dressing and Trans folks for friendship, advice, and sharing. But I remain only romantically and sexually interested in Genetically born females/CIS females!

I have retired to a rural forestry farm in the Appalachian foothills of Southern Ohio close to Huntington, WV and Ashland, KY and enjoy the outdoors too!

MEN do not message me at all! Not interested in the least in any male!

If you want to know why I cross dress, it is nothing sexual or sexual oriented, I cross dress out of pure PTSD relief and copy skill.

Abuse and what fueled my career and life to this present day.

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I could write a book on this topic.

I was raised by a German immigrant father to the US that was partly raised Hitler Youth in Germany prior to World War Two ending and abandoned when the Russians invaded his East German town. My father was 7 years old and left with his 5-year-old brother. The Russians beat and abused them until handed over to the West German Government and reunited with his father in West Germany at ages 14 and 12 from an East German orphanage. My grandfather survived the entire war as an officer in the German Army and surrender to the American Army at the end of the war and was evil and nasty. He beat my father and propagated hate into him until he ran away at age 16 with his younger brother once they found their mother. So, at age 20 he immigrated to the US bringing hate and prejudice and bloody beatings with terrible verbal abuse to his children (Me and my siblings). I stopped those beatings myself at age 16 via my own strength and skills gained from sports (American football and wrestling). We were partly raised inner city from 1970 to 1974 where I grew up with racial street gang fist fights every now and again someone was stabbed or beaten with a bat club or pipe, they were not shooting each other back then.

So, I turned the violence I knew deeply into sports and was a terror on the football field, and became a state high school wrestling champion, and in high school became a bully ass beater in the drop of a hat through the mentoring a couple friends not to be a thug. Turned down multiple college scholarships to enter the US Army for the next 27 years of my life from October 1984 to April 22, 2011. Been to war and done horrible things to the enemy seen the worst man can do. Tried to save and end lives including doing CPR on an 18-month-old and having it die in my hands, found children beaten to death and abused sexually. Taken life via just my hands and saved a few. I know the physical feeling of puncturing a human's body with a knife. Lost soldiers and friends. I know the smell and taste of human blood misted into the air over animal blood and can tell you the difference blind folded. As well as the Oder of dead humans over animals as well as burnt ones. And had 12 major surgeries for my injuries during the 27 years that forced my Retirment.

I have counselled extensively for PTSD and still do. I was married and divorced from a mentally abusive cheating wife that I never harmed or cheated on, and my kids came to be raised by me at their request, and they never experienced what I did as a child. Not hate or prejudice taught, or abuse given.

Once they left my home that is when I finally could develop my Willa side, I always have had but suppressed in fear of father friends and Army persecution. I remain 100% heterosexual to this day, but Willa helps me cope and see beauty. When as William I look into the mirror, I see all the abuse and death including my son's suicide at age 21 after he joined the US Army. Willa lets me see beauty and to escape the other stuff.

So, I turned it into a career and did not pass it to my children.

1-6-2023, it has been a glorious and wonderful evolution of my heart mind and soul in becoming Willa and embracing her growth from mid 2008 to my present self. Along this path I have retired from my career early to take over custody of my children at their request and raised them to 18 years of age. During this period Willa was secretive and silent, and she only came out as the kids were at school. post high school graduation my son entered the US Army following my steps, and my daughter post high school graduation moved from my rural country farm close to WV and KY along the Ohio River in deep Southern, Ohio to central Ohio with her mother so she could attend The Ohio State University without paying room and board. So, this opened up the flood gates for me to fully embrace and become Willa! My children were the best thing I was ever blessed with by God in my life. But being allowed the time and effort to transition into Willa has been my second greatest accomplishment ever in my lifetime outside of my children.

What I share below are the things I had to overcome in my lifetime to become a loving Willa:

My life has been rough and tumble with a stern German immigrant father that was born in Eastern Germany (Prusia) in 1937 and was partly raised as a Hitler Youth, only the end of World War Two ceased this training, and then my father fell into the orphanages of the communist Eastern Germany Government where beatings were common. From Age 7 to 14 my father and his younger brother (5 to 12) had to survive on their own from the end of World War Two through the East German Government orphanage system until my grandfather and ex-German officer during the war was located in West Germany. My father and his brother were handed over to my grandfather in West Germany where the hatred that Hitler had along with the beatings continued through my grandfather to my dad. At age 16 my father and his brother ran away finding their birthmother and living with her until he immigrated to the United States of America in 1957 at the age of 20. So, my father beat us bloody as punishment as children and taught us every kind of hate he was taught. In the early 1970's we moved from a rough and tumble inner city to the country where the hatred training and beatings continued until I was 16 years old where I was bigger and stronger than my father and I stopped those beatings myself. Thank God we moved to the country as a family where I could be away from street and gang fights in the city, but I still had the family beatings and hate training of my father until I stopped those myself. Being an American football player and state of Ohio high school wrestling champion, I was taught that males being soft of feminine was terrible. It was very difficult trying to make sense of my passion for Cross dressing in my sister's clothing from ages 12 to 18 myself with all of this. Then I joined the US Army post high school graduation in 1984 where it was a jailable offense in the Military and a dishonorably discharged offense if you were gay or anything but a heterosexual. I lasted 11 years in this career until switching to another that I retired from 16 plus years later that had the same we will fire you if you are gay or anything but heterosexual policies. And I married the wrong woman that had the same idea of anything not to her thinking. So, I had beatings, hatred, sports coaching, prejudices and governmental taught hatred in my career fields dictating my life as it progressed as a heterosexual cross dresser up to and through the marriage, I had for 11 terrible years.

The healing:

Dropping that hard edge to become feminine and loving myself along the way:

Post-divorce at age 42 I began to drop all hatreds, ideas, concepts, and prejudices that I was taught and indoctrinated by/with. I always said I did not care what a person did in their private lives just keep it away from me. From age 42 to age 45 I began to cross dress in private trying to fight and put to death all the things I was taught in the past, had several clothing purges during this time, and once close to the end of my career just before taking over custody of my kids. I sought out coaching through an ex-Dominatrix on makeup, shaving, body shaving to wigs and accessorizing to complete the total feminine look. This is when I began to love myself and to love Willa as I set her free. I expressed my romantic interest in the Dominatrix, and it flipped a switch in her mind that ended our friendship and correspondence (we only chatted on the phone, communicated via emails and tutorial videos, but I wanted more), but that was not to be. So, I had to relearn my entire life's thinking and training to truly become a complete and happy person while seeing and dealing in the worst of humanity. Yes, Life was very hard and difficult, but I can tell you I am thankful for it and its progression. I just wished I was braver at age 18 to take these steps, but at least I am here now. I love my cross dressing and trans friends and can admit we are outstandingly sexy and Gorgeous, while maintaining my heterosexual romantic interests.

I love our cross dressing/trans girls/gurls/ladies truly I do, and I find some of you extremely attractive, But I remain Heterosexual. So, when I see profiles with pics of dicks or sex acts, I won't follow you. To me this is about Beauty and Sensual Sexuality, and I already know what a penis looks like because I have one of my own.