April of 1972 proved devastating through a series of cataclysmic events for me as a US Marine during the Vietnam War. Discharged in June rendered uncertainty in a young man’s life. Disembarking the Greyhound bus station in Victoria, Texas and waiting three hours till the next bus to San Antonio would arrive, disturbing thoughts overcame this former Marine. Primarily, my thoughts focused on the undefined reality as to where to live, what to do, and an ideation that compromised my future for nearly four decades. A sense of purpose eluded me until I purchased my first digital camera.

Before volunteering in 1971 hopes to become a photojournalist was a prime concern for myself, a teenager who loved to write and express his creativity through his camera. I had no way of knowing that PTSD and a Spinal Cord Injury would dominate my world for forty years. But it had. I knew writing was my strong potential but the changes in technology from simple Polaroids in the sixties challenged my esteem as to how to understand a digital interface of the more advanced cameras. But as a former Marine I knew the only way to learn was to just do it.

Learning to express oneself creatively requires a sensitivity to one’s intuition, and with a camera this has to do with visualization. Communication is key. We are communicating with a specific audience of other visual artists. We learn to read this audience through our creative intuitiveness. It is a process in which we become proficient through experience and time. The specifics of the technological values of the camera depends upon your willingness to respond to your intuition. For this, we must read pertinent subject matter, attend a class, or seek out a mentor. The possibilities of our futures as photographers will depend upon perseverance, determination, and a willingness to learn.

As the author of this article, I have struggled with significant imparity's, as camera-therapy revealed itself after a long battle with death-like occurrences. My ideation would not render me peace. A spinal cord injury severe enough to disturb and beleaguer my confidence was over-ridden by my imagery. My first digital camera began a new journey of healing. Now, I had the tools for success.

Upon composing my first realistic setting where envisioning the final composition was determined through my intuitive imagination. I acted as producer, writer, director, and photographer with an idea in mind. My imagery was to be produced as a scene from out of the “old west.” What key points I utilized was pure genius as I set the stage in a field of dirt and an old metal shed in front of a small watering hole for cattle. Of course, beforehand, the camera, tripod, and remote sensors were set.

My artistic positioning for this shot told me I was the subject as a self - portrait. The sun held at about 11:00 a.m. and the clouds nominal. Before crouching inside the shed with the sun shining through, I thought a little dust coming through the filtered light a winning touch for my self - portrait. So, I stirred up the dirt, crouched within seconds, held my head low with a fedora of western appeal atop, body language was in check, and before the dust had time to settle, I had taken about fifteen images. They we perfect!

Packing my gear away, I realized something had just happened. Something within made me feel different about myself. I felt a level of growth had just taken place. I knew I had accomplished a major creative endeavor where the visualization coalesced with my equipment made a huge difference in how I felt about life. Life is about being creative. We all have that special gene within our DNA. Some are awakened by this gene, for others, it remains asleep. But, once we discover who we are as a humanity factor, we correlate the difference between being creative, and simply existing as cogs in the wheels of a world established and perpetuated by darkness, war, sickness, poverty, drought, etc. The difference may often be a matter of life and death. PTSD, TBI, SCI, does not have to be debilitating enough to stop us. My weapon was my camera, and presently, I stand victoriously over the demons that kept me at bay, and simply by doing something as simple and easy as pressing the shutter button, and dream.