The Biography of Matt Thomson

Artist, photographer, writer, cake trainer, caffeine wrangler.

Matt was born at a young age.

As a child he was a lonely sad young thing. His mother was in labor with him for 3 weeks till the midwife remove her tights and pop there he was .

He was frequently alone and his only companion Kitty, the identity crisis dog, would only lick his face if he was covered in sausage meat.

His mum would feed him his meals using a sling shot.

Even officialdom would neglect him by refusing him a birth certificate and his only acknowledgment of his sad beginning was a note from a condom maker that started with the words OMG WERE SOOOO SORRY

His school days were no better. He got into college only to be used as a shelf. In a vain attempt to gain validity he offered his body to science and science rejected it.

So he entered the long dark coffee time of the soul and became an artist, so poor the mice would picket the traps in his two bedroom tent.

Then one day he had a epiphany, but tablets cleared that up and he vowed to lay off curry.

He would enter Second Life, a land free of vagina candles and Greta Thunbergs BO .

His art would become like Tourette's on a canvas, no meaning , no reason no profound mind set just stuff on a canvas ( and yes I do this R L to)

artists that paint abstract and say pretentious stuff like this is Granny dreaming of rogering Bugs Bunny while watching big Bird lap dancing on the Cookie monster while the Ghost of Prince sings we are the world in Turkish irritate me so much

what's wrong with just saying its a fit of color, that just wants to please the eye, warm the soul and clear the colon.

So here I am bad mesh and all he, doesn't care who he is, what he does, or that he farts.

I am Warm easy going Mad mebbe but when your baby stroller had shutters fitted for 5 years

what the frik ya Expecting me to turn out Like Stephen Hawkins

After all

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? Douglas Adams

if your still awake

Thank you for reading

If your not, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Matt

Blue Rose Gallery

maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Morenci/115/9/2001