Self Description

When asked to describe myself, I'd say that I am Christian; conservative; intell'art'ual; personable; musical; straightforward; helpful; humorous; playful; smiley; giggly; upbeat; friendly; vocal; sometimes insightful; encouraging; and laid-back (meaning easygoing in attitude with people and things not in emotion).

I deeply enjoy wandering around in the woods exploring, discovering, and worshiping the Lord because of it all, just releasing myself into that other state of mind of "wonderment" away from the rat race of civilization. Some might call this hiking. But it's not to me because the point is to enjoy the woods not tromp through them. I treasure the moments when a leaf falls and caresses my skin or a gentle wind suddenly whispers through the tree leaves, bushes, flowers, my hair, and over my face. When the sun peaks through the branches and lights up a little cubby. When little animals come up close and stare to see what that new being is in the woods. When the sound of water trickles softly beneath an old rickety bridge. When early evening golden sunlight glistens on and illuminates foliage and flowers and water ways. When leaves and pine needles crunch beneath my feet. When colors of the rainbow are expressed in a breath-taking sunset lighting over and through the deep dark woods. When I touch the silkiness of a colorful and lovely wildflower growing all alone and drink in its scent (which only God has caused to grow knowing no one else has touched or seen it before). When I pick a juicy mouthwatering blackberry or a tiny wild strawberry and pop it in my mouth, savoring the intense sweetness of wild fruit. When I'm all alone in the woods without anyone to disrupt my complete reverie in all these experiences and more. Sometimes I am even able to capture these treasure-filled moments in a photo when I take the time to step back and think about it.

I also deeply enjoy wandering aimlessly on a warm beach with an old long gnarly stick in hand that I happened upon to drag along behind me and play with in the wet sand from time-to-time. And I enjoy taking in the soft rumble of the waves as if God were speaking audibly. Feeling the wind whip my hair around in crazy tangles. Tasting the mist from the ocean and feeling it coat my skin with a thin sticky haze. Feeling bits of sand play on my toes. Feeling the ocean waves rush over my feet, up my legs, and rush away again. Hearing the seagulls squawk and chirp as they play and forage for food. Becoming something of a novelty to the beach birds when they come up to take a look at me or someone with me. Listening to the laughter of children as they build their treasured sandcastles that are easily given up to the waves without complaint. Drinking in the intense otherworldly beauty from the reflecting lights and colors of the sunset on the ocean as the sun quietly and peacefully covers itself with the ocean as if it were a blanket and witnessing the subsequently rapturous wild colors the sky displays in response. Taking in the crackling noises and the smell of campfires being lit on the nighttime beach to roast tasty smoky hot dogs and lip-smacking oooey-gooey marshmallows (some even for little s'mores sandwiches). Having the long ride home to reflect on the lovely day's events in silence in order to store them away properly in my heart.

Moreover, I relish going out to see The Red Rock Cliffs, especially in Washington near Horse Thief Lake. There's something indefinably ancient and surreal about that place late in the day when nearing dusk along the river/lake shore. The crimson/magenta cliffs backed by a nearly sapphire blue sky and outlined with the gushing waters of the lake/river as the wind rushes over the landscape in true audible fashion is mesmerizing to say the least. My favorite thing to do when there is to climb up on a humongous old rock that is near a precipice overlooking the waters and this site. When there, I lift up my arms in a flying position and look up along with closing my eyes intermittently so that I can take in the sights and the sounds and the smells separately. It feels as though I'm flying. It brings me to that ethereal state of mind where all I want to do is worship Jesus for how awe-inspiring He is to have created all of this wonderment and then to be so generous as to share it with us His people through the senses He lovingly gave us. It's as though He is The Master Conductor of a great symphony with what he created as nature that worships and serves Him in every movement; and as we listen to this great song of the ages, we are compelled to hum along through worship in response. He's simply astounding in all He does. We are all just copiers of the art we sense in these moments that He has already created solely for our enjoyment. And what gets me is that, compared to what Heaven will be like, the intense spirituality we sense in these moments, because of these 'beautious' places, could be seen as garbage in comparison, merely a sparkle of His massive Glory (as Kieth Green put it in one of his songs long ago).

As you've probably noticed, I like to travel. Sometimes money is a constraint. But since we have an empty nest, it has opened us up a little financially and time-wise to be able just to pick up and go on a trip, sometimes even on a whim. I've been to Sacramento, L.A., San Diego and most of their attractions like Disneyland (many times), Knottsberry Farm, Universal Studios, Sea World, Six Flags, and the warm beaches there. I've been to Tijuana in Mexico and Victoria B.C. in Canada. I've visited Sunriver, Springriver, Fallriver, Bend, Prineville, and Redmond in Central Oregon and explored many a wood there. I've enjoyed Newport Beach, Lincoln City Beach, Seaside Beach, and Rockaway Beach on the Oregon Coast. I've been to Seattle, seen the Space Needle, and seen some of the awesome sites of the Indian Reservations. I've lived in the Willamette Valley and taken in its massive and lush foliage and flowers, the beauty of Multnomah Falls and Silver Creek Falls, and the great fun of The Enchanted Forest, The Portland Zoo, and Omsi. I've traveled through Idaho, Montana, and Utah. I've visited Yellowstone Park in Wyoming and Montana three times now. I lived through the eye of a tornado while at a KOA camp nearby Yellowstone when I was twelve and stayed in a log cabin. I went to Minnesota and enjoyed family and fireflies. I also visited Colorado, New Mexico, and Arizona. In these places we visited Mesa Verde (The Anasazi Ruins), Various Indian Reservations and National Parks, The Grand Canyon, The Painted Desert, The Painted Hills, and The Petrified Forest. In Colorado we also enjoyed The Country Dinner Playhouse many a time. Now it is closed, which is too bad because it was really a fun place to go. I also have been to Nebraska and saw the cool wind tunnels there along with the bluffs. It's all so ancient looking like the Anasazi Ruins. What's also gorgeous in nearly every season along the trip to Scottsbluff are the ever stretching bountiful farmlands of crops like sunflower seeds, corn, alfalfa, wheat, barley, sugar beats, etc. Moreover, I've been to South Dakota where I saw Mount Rushmore and some other national forests like Custer National Forest. And recently we took a flight to Florida to enjoy Disney World after a brief stopover in Tennessee (because we had nearly free plane tickets). We also visited The Atlantic Ocean, NASA's Kennedy Space Center, and St. Petersburg Beach on The Gulf of Mexico. None of this traveling took place in a short period of time. I've been traveling since I was six.

In all of these places, there was always a place or something that drew me into worshiping Jesus. As a result, I normally took many, many pictures. Anything that strikes that cord of beauty is worthy of a picture. In each place, however, only a few pictures really stood out or turned out well (since I'm not even sure I can call myself an amateur photographer), which I hope to upload soon to this site. I have used two cameras. Both were Canons. Our first camera was a Power Shot S1 IS with 3.2megapixels. The second is a Power Shot A570 IS with 7.1megapixels. The first was much better than the second; but, alas, I dropped it while at NASA and broke this $500.00 dollar camera that was a very prized gift I believe from my family. Ugh! So we bought a less expensive version of this camera that doesn't work quite as well, but it still does the job.

On the downside, I am a bit clumsy; too trusting; a little too single-minded; absentminded (when working on projects); forgetful; over-extending of myself and others; hostile toward jerks; a reactor to button-pushers; a pushover or a doormat sometimes; too loud when I laugh from time-to-time; too passionate at times about politics; and sadly a mama bear type when someone attacks another I hold dear.

My biggest pet peeve is when people read into what I'm saying because there is no "in between the lines" with me (unless I've told or written an allegory which I specify. Besides, that's what art is for.) I expect the same treatment...anything else feels dishonest. I don't appreciate passive-aggressive or aggressive behavior. I shy away from any and all who are like that. Controlling behavior annoys me. I feel especially upset when someone doesn't apologize correctly by weaseling out of hurting a person with "if I've done anything wrong" when he/she has hurt me or others. And what's worse is when these people have authority-type figures "friends" who then back them up. This is injustice of some of the worst kind, a double standard. Ownership and justice and mercy is the key with me. I also can't stand it when someone is shown logic or reason in a concept or idea even when given physical proof (I'm not talking 'evil'ution) but still holds emotionally to a given subject. It's downright obnoxious, hostile, and closed-minded. I find it especially hostile when someone disagrees in a rude manner with another person. In other words, I hate it when one starts to mock or pick at little flaws in the person who proved him or her incorrect in a matter to discredit the one who was correct instead of sticking to the subject at hand. That feels very underhanded and dishonest to me. What's worse is when his/her "friends" join in and gang up in like manner. And I feel miffed when people say things like "it's all in your mind/imagination" when they have wronged me or another in order to weasel out of ownership of a wrong. That is mental abuse.

Furthermore, what I'm not into is competition with others. I rarely if ever take a challenge. I don't mean like photo competitions. I mean when someone is trying to one up me. It's just not my style to do that or tolerate it. My reasoning is that, if someone competes with me, then that means he/she is my opponent. Opponent is another word for enemy. I simply don't want anyone to feel as though he/she has me for an enemy. And I don't want friends like that either. Instead of having a friend who is always trying to best me, I look for someone who desires to walk beside me not ahead of me and not behind me. Similarly, I have a hard time playing any kind of games for that reason, too. I don't like to have other people feel bad when I win. It seems so important to those kind of people. In like manner, I dislike truly competitive sports. And I'm especially not into watching them on TV. Good thing I married a musician who also isn't into sports. *Giggles*

But what I do completely dig is learning, honesty, logic, reason, art, polite assertiveness, and good humor. I like to share what I do have and to help others and to get help from others with any kind of art like computer graphics, photography, drawing, arts and crafts, writing and recording music and songs, writing stories, etc. My other interests are what I studied in college. I majored in politics and minored in history and English/writing and was a master/mentor tutor of any subject I had taken, maintaining a 4.0 GPA throughout my college years. In other words, I trained others to become tutors. (It was done as a part-time student while raising and taking care of my family and having various ministries and maintaining many relationships and holding down another part time job.) The reason mentioning my GPA is important to me is because I graduated from high school with a resounding 1.29 GPA. What caused the difference? Jesus! Between the two GPAs, I repented from being a minor druggie and a possible teenage alcoholic. So all of the credit rightfully goes to Him.

However, if I'm bullied as a result of any of my interests, I will normally have my say (sometimes by simply making a comment humorous or rude) and then walk away and most likely never return. It's not worth it to me to disrupt my life for rude people unless I feel especially urged to do so. Life seems too short to me for such interruptions. I prefer to busy myself with my happy little life with Jesus, with my husband of 25 years, and my family.

One of my main favorite pastimes is to read, especially Christian literature. My favorite time in interaction with people is when we are all learning something new (with no pride interfering) like when sharing ideas in photography, graphics, drawing, writing, etc. and when listening to or making music with others. I also really love to share my unique relationship with Jesus to people if it comes up. I relate most of what happens in my life and that which surrounds me to Him, especially in my artwork because there's nothing more satisfying than being loved by Him and worshiping Him. I like this surreal ethereal odd approach with art since it allows me to worship Him in it all.

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Explanations

Under favorite music listed below, I thought I should note that my favorite music has traditionally been Christian alternative, rock, and contemporary. Not so much anymore. I recently visited the website of what used to be my favorite Christian band. I found their followers, who profess to influence them, to be extremely rude and hostile and hateful to say the least. These and the band members themselves teach gnosticism and follow Bono in his massive gnosticism. (Get this: He calls himself Bono. It means Good. The word 'God' is directly translated as 'Good.' Jesus said only God is Good. Odd that someone should refer to himself as God when he is merely a human. And to have others follow him speaks volumes about them. Yes I do understand that the original intent of him calling himself Bono was Bonovox, meaning "good voice." But I find the slimmed down version of his name to be something he may be capitalizing on spiritually, which I find reprehensible.) Even faced with absolute truth and proof regarding these matters of gnosticism and its basic error, these people stick to fallacies. Since then, I must admit that I feel as though I have been rudely awakened to the spiritual state of most Christian music artists in general (though I'm sure it's not true of all, though I've visited other sites and found them to be the same). It must be a reflection of the big wigs running the show in Tennessee. Sadness. I see these artists' music as less than appealing since they no longer hold to the true message of Christianity--grace and Jesus' righteousness by faith AFTER repentance, clearly outlined in this fashion in all four gospels as repentance then belief. Therefore I see their music as dishonest (pretenders in order to sell their music) and so not coming across in a vulnerable way. That is one of the qualities in art, especially music, that I hold most dear. But it's obviously become corrupted in this community. At least secular music is honest and even vulnerable about their worldliness, as disgusting as it is at times. So I have resorted to listening to the oldies from the late 60's, all of the 70's, and a little of the 80's. I like some of the modern alternative rock. But most music nowadays seems to me to be incapable of provoking deep and meaningful emotion, physical movement, and deep reflective thought which I believe is what music (and art in general) is supposed to do.

The thing is that Christian music is supposed to lead people into the worship of God just as nature does--to bring one to that state of "wonderment" of God and all He has done. When lacking that ability, it loses its call as Christian music. It might as well be bubble-gum pop (which is fine at times by itself when done honestly). I don't mean like the hymnal-type songs in church that the "worship" leaders and "gospelly" Whitney Huston-type or Aretha Franklin-type singers (gag me) manufacture emotion with in order to hype everyone up so that they will "pay their [ridiculous] tithes." Nor do I mean the ones who sing critical songs of others and what they are lacking in "good works" like forgiveness unless it's to bring a person to a repentant state of mind, convincing him/her that he/she is a sinner. I mean the kind of music that bares vulnerably the inner person of the one playing the music and singing the songs often depicting one's search for God and personal relationship with Him and His search for him/her.

Last, I need to point out that I really do enjoy most of the songs from the bands I've listed below in my music favorites but certainly not all. This list will be updated as I find out what the bands were called. But I typically will not list a band if I only like one or two of their songs, which is a majority of what I like from the time periods listed above, unless the song is outstanding.