WARNING!! This profile contains some tasteless grot of an adult nature.

WARNING!! Even worse than the tasteless grot it contains many pics of my bracket,* you have been warned!

*Bracket. For those not familiar with the term a bracket is a face, usually not a good looking one, as in 'Have you seen the state of the bracket on him/her/that?!!'

Take one ugly middle-aged bloke (me) and add some makeup, a dress and heels and.... TA-DAH!! As if by magic you have an equally ugly middle-aged crossdresser (me, again). If you were expecting more than that you're going to be very disappointed!

I'm just your average middle-aged (wrong side of the Big Five Zero), miserable, awkward, ugly bastard who likes to do a bit of cycling, hillwalking, photography and flyfishing - so far, so normal.

When I'm not doing that I sometimes dress up and do a bit of trannying - so far, so not-so-normal but so what!

Yeah, I know I look completely ridiculous but I normally look like a bank robber, my makeup skills are terrible (makeup is usually applied with a catapult), and I have no sense of style whatsoever.

However, as long as I can serve as a bad example I'm not completely useless.

I've been doing this stuff on and off for ages without actually getting any good at it. I suppose I fit somewhere on the transwhatever spectrum without actually being able to define whether I'm trans-something, gender-fluid or non-binary (not sure about the exact definitions of those terms either). Possibly they could all apply at some time or other or even all at the same time depending on mood, time of day, what I had for breakfast or which direction the wind is blowing.

Pics are by me (apart from a few taken on nights out and kindly supplied by others) and makeup, such as it is, is also by me so there is no one else to blame for me looking the way I do!

Photos do have some editing applied but I try not to go overboard and like to keep things fairly true to life rather than looking like a cartoon/emoji or like I'm wearing a mask without any discernable facial features nor any blemishes to be seen. I do look similar to the pics but a wrinklier, saggier, sunken-eyed and uglier version, as anyone who has been unfortunate enough to see me in real life can confirm.

Anyone with anything remotely illegal/dodgy in their profile - photostream or favourites - will be blocked.

You do not have permission to use or copy my pictures. Keep your hands off, you thieving scroats!

Anyone using my photos without permission will be hearing from my solicitors - Cockring, Dildo & Dildo.

There are lots of people on here with no pics. Hello, it's a photo sharing site, too hard to understand? Lots too with their photostream full of pics of other people or grot nicked from the interweb, don't be surprised if you get blocked.

Thanks to anyone who leaves a comment on my pics, I should be more on the ball when it comes to acknowledging them or responding but they are all appreciated.