My actual house (at school, that is)

We live upstairs. It's not as big as it looks. Some of its prime features:

No insulation

No control over the thermostat

Pot-smoking neighbors

Leaky faucets and a rotting bathroom floor

Slow drains

A garbage disposal that doubles as a fountain

Exorbitant rent for a not-so-hot house in a less-than-ideal location

Being able to put your filthy-rich landlord's little girl through college while you try to do the same for yourself.

 

Welcome to off-campus student housing. We hope you enjoy your stay.

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