Happy Birthday Shelby

Shelby and his girl, April

 

52 Stories # 11

 

Happy Birthday!!

 

I remember the day twenty five years ago that Shelby was born in Grapevine, Tx.

 

He was due to be born sometime in early May but as often happens, construction completion dates are missed. This one passed by about a week.

 

I’ve always thought Cindy was overdue on purpose. I think she just liked the idea that everyone was focusing attention on her. Why domino when the suspense is so high and then the real work begins.

 

After you drop one somebody is going to have to get up every two hours for the next few months to check on the diaper, bottle, blanket, breathing, etc.

As the years pass somebody has to get up every few hours to check if the windows are closed,

doors locked,

cars are still here and the keys are where you left them,

to answer the phone for whoever is calling ‘em,

put up food left out from midnight snacks and to run off any straggling neighbor kids who can’t tell time.

She probably figured as long as she was still pregnant, she knew where he was.

 

So everyone’s calling wanting to know if we had him yet. Nope.

 

Got my boss thinking I just want extra time off. Yeah, right.

Nothing like the mood of a woman in the tenth month of pregnancy. I’d rather give a bobcat a bath…every hour.

There was no FMLA in the early 1980s and the Teamsters contract was clear that if you ran out of attendance points you were a goner. Contract didn’t make exceptions if your wife was pregnant either. I didn’t have any vacation time available but I was off three days a week. You’d think that being off 43% of the week, every week, the odds that he would be born on your day off were pretty good. Oh, well.

 

But I was ready. I know this because I had already completed my Lamaze classes. We went every week. Learned to breath. Learned to coach. Learned to listen intently. Taught us not to panic. Keep control. Eye contact. Soft words Bla, Bla, Bla. I could see fear and wonder in the eyes of some of the other future dads in the room.

But what I remember most was when the teacher foisted the propaganda onto us all.

 

The greatest hoax was the “Nesting Instinct”. Teach said “Now men, when the nesting instinct hits your wife don’t get frustrated. Just bear with it and get her anything she wants. She may tell you in the middle of the night that she just has to have the blue comforter she saw at J C Pennys last week. Just get it.”

We paid money for this class?

Most of the males looked around the room at each other. We knew we were being had. But none of us spoke up. You won’t either. It’s a room full of pregnant, unstable women.

 

So the due date +1 week passed and Dr. Wilson decided he would induce labor. Could he induce on my days off? Said he would. I was off on Mon Tues and Wed. but he could only induce on Wed. I would have to return to work on the day after he was born.

 

We were already expecting a boy. The sonogram tape showed irrefutable evidence of that. (proud smile). I WOULD post a scan of it for you, but I taped a Dallas Cowboy's game over it years later.

The things that women get mad about.

 

Induced labor all day on Wednesday 5-16-84. The IV drip produced labor pains soon after the 06:00 start time. Contractions steamrolled along and the IV was adjusted until she was having pains as regular as a red light. Every couple of minutes she would bear down. She was hooked up to a monitor that measured the contractions. It looked like a seismograph. Little needle would move up and Boss-lady would holler. Yes Sir she was in fine form.

I coached like Tom Landry. You should have seen her breath.

They came in every hour or so to check on her progress. She dilated to 4. Dr. Wilson was unimpressed. Said women walk around a 4 all the time and never know it. Finally at 18:00 they took her off the drip and said we would try again on Thursday. Had to take off work again. My boss (Searcy) was non plussed.

Funny thing, even though the IV was removed, Boss-lady’s labor contractions continued on through the night.

 

Next morning, she was again in fine form. She seemed more irritable than ever,

06:00 and the IV was rolling again,

contractions had never stopped,

the seismograph was hooked up and functioning,

she was still a 4,

Tom Landry coached the breathing again.

Noon came and Dr Wilson decided they would break her water. He figured that would help. I know her mood didn’t improve.

 

Cindy’s patience had been running thin while we watched two other pregnant couples arrive that morning, have their babies and move to their rooms while we labored on.

 

Seismograph indicated that the contractions were not as severe as before. Cindy screamed for me to shut up about it because the DAMN thing was broke because they felt the same to her.

It was about this time that she got serious. The evil Cindy was replaced by the Devil. No more Lamaze.

Finally at 16: 30 Dr Wilson said he was going to perform a cesarean section on another couple and after that he would do the same for Cindy.

 

I followed him to the hall and when I finished screaming we were moved in front of the other couple and Shelby was born just after 17:30.

Evidence that screaming in the hall produces better results than Lamaze in the room.

 

As a side note, Shelby was born on my late father-in-law’s birthday. Don was thrilled that he shared his birthday with Shelby and we enjoyed 20 years of double birthday celebrations until Don passed in 2004.

 

I returned to work the next day and Searcy gave me points for missing work. I continued to work with him until 2004 and reminded him every year that he gave me points for that day. Even though he is retired now, I called him again today to remind him.

 

So Happy Birthday to my son Shelby. He is my pride and joy. He is also single and will make some young lady a fine provider one day.

 

Give a nod also to Cindy. She really did all the work those two days of labor. She is the greatest.

And finally to some of my friends who know Searcy and will read this, tell him know you he gave me points 25 years ago today.

 

Done