Element 119
My boy, I've made another breakthrough!
What, another one, Herr Doktor?
Indeed! And it's huge! I've discovered a new element! I'm naming it after myself, so I'll forever be in the periodic table of elements!
Gee, that's exciting, Herr Doktor. Can I see it?
See it? Well, actually, no. It exists only as a computer model. Not in the, you know, actual world.
Oh. So maybe you should call it unrealium. Know what I mean?
Yes. That name is kind of. . . catchy, isn't it? Ok! I'm going to contact the periodic table committee right away!
Didn't they expel you for fraud last year?
Oh that was nothing! A mere clerical error!
For including in your book a bunch of pop-ups of animal penises?
I told them, that was totally the publisher fault!
I think yours was in there too, wasn't it?
For comparative purposes only! My dedication to science knows no bounds!
Or shame, right?
Right! I mean, what?
Element 119
My boy, I've made another breakthrough!
What, another one, Herr Doktor?
Indeed! And it's huge! I've discovered a new element! I'm naming it after myself, so I'll forever be in the periodic table of elements!
Gee, that's exciting, Herr Doktor. Can I see it?
See it? Well, actually, no. It exists only as a computer model. Not in the, you know, actual world.
Oh. So maybe you should call it unrealium. Know what I mean?
Yes. That name is kind of. . . catchy, isn't it? Ok! I'm going to contact the periodic table committee right away!
Didn't they expel you for fraud last year?
Oh that was nothing! A mere clerical error!
For including in your book a bunch of pop-ups of animal penises?
I told them, that was totally the publisher fault!
I think yours was in there too, wasn't it?
For comparative purposes only! My dedication to science knows no bounds!
Or shame, right?
Right! I mean, what?