Day 462 - Day 097

“When you were here before, Couldn't look you in the eye. You're just like an angel, Your skin makes me cry”

Creep: Radiohead, Pablo Honey

 

I remember driving home one night from college to my house in San Antonio, and this song came on the radio. The song just kind of leapt out at me, spoke to me and moved me- and has since haunted me.

 

This song describes so much of how I used to see myself- when I had no confidence in who I was or how I looked. And really, those self loathing feelings that one has toward themselves really shines out- people feed off them and pick them up and react to those feelings.

 

I have since grown out of that, but this song reminds me of how far and where I have come from… I wasted too much of my life on these stupid things,

 

*** Artist Notes ***

Trying to convey the feeling of emotion after “she” left…. Whoever the she would be.

 

Lyrics:

When you were here before,

Couldn't look you in the eye

You're just like an angel,

Your skin makes me cry

 

You float like a feather

In a beautiful world

I wish I was special

You're so f@%&in' special

 

But I'm a creep,

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doin' here?

I don't belong here

 

I don't care if it hurts,

I wanna have control

I want a perfect body

I want a perfect soul

 

I want you to notice

when I'm not around

You're so f@%&in' special

I wish I was special

 

But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doin' here?

I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

 

She's running out again

She's running out

She run run run run...

run... run...

 

Whatever makes you happy

Whatever you want

You're so f@%&in' special

I wish I was special

 

But I'm a creep,

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doin' here?

I don't belong here

 

I don't belong here...

 

Done