Follower

All my life, I've tried so hard to blend, to become part of the smoothie of life, not to be unnoticed, but not to be noticed. I just wanted to fit in. I wanted to be seen as a somebody, a somebody, that mattered to somebody. I went through it all, whatever it took, whether bullying, or not doing what i felt was right, be to in the in crowd. And it took me up until a while ago to figure out I was being exactly what I didn't want to be. A follower, or lost puppy dog, like who wants one of those?

 

 

I have come to realize, that to be me, I can't be someone else; i can only express myself truly, and to blend in, that is the last thing I want to do. I am unique, and I know it...but why not show it? you may come to realize, just like me, that people love you for who you are, and if they don't, then god doesn't want them in your life.

 

But I find more than ever lately, that I need what my friends have, i have to have that something, even if I don't really want it. If they have a boy, I need one too, even if I feel nothing for them. And I know it may sound terrible, but that feeling comes and goes so frequently that at any moment I could do something I regret...

Done