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alter ego

“Seeing isn’t believing; believing is seeing.” In the words of Judy the elf in the movie The Santa Clause, I constantly refer back to this idea when I begin a new project or take a new photo. Ever since I was young, the idea of magic and mystery has intrigued me. I love the possibility that there is something more out there that the human eye cannot quite see unless it is specifically looking. The mysteries of the world are what make life exciting, and exposing them to my audience is the best way I can think of to express myself.

 

When I take a new photo, I want to make people feel something. I am an “in the moment” photographer, I plan things out to a certain extent, but I do not spend much time thinking things through. I like to just go out with my camera and start taking pictures, and see what I end up with. I feel that a picture is much more meaningful when it is real, not planned and calculated so precisely that it loses all of its natural beauty and grace.

 

For my traditional self portrait, I decided to go with a simple mirror shot. I did this because I wanted the viewers to feel like they were seeing me as I see myself when I look in the mirror. I also decided not to wear any type of makeup, and to leave my hair wet and crazy, instead of trying to do it perfectly and make everything look nice. I wanted to convey the idea that I am far from perfect and that I do not intend to pretend to be. The crazy messy style of the photo shows that I am just an average girl who isn’t concerned with looking perfect, but simply concerned with being me.

 

My alter ego self portrait is the opposite of this idea. Although I did not attempt to physically alter my appearance with makeup and straighteners and whatnot, I showed myself hiding from the camera behind a blanket, showing that I am afraid to show my true self. I also made myself all in black and white except for my eyes while leaving the rest of the picture in color to convey the idea of fading away under the pressure of trying to be perfect, while my eyes show that I just want to be accepted for who I really am. I feel that this was a good choice for an alter ego for me because this part of me sometimes shines through. I am happy with who I am and the people I have surrounded myself with in life, but there are always times when people feel like they’re not good enough, myself included. I feel that these photos clearly represent who I truly am vs. who I try not to be.

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Uploaded on May 12, 2011
Taken on May 11, 2011