i'm depressive and it's only getting worse

don't ask me why i do things.

 

this is me venting. you don't have to read it i just needed to get this out:

i am really unhappy with my life right now. i am insanely stressed out because of school and it's mostly because of global history. i can't finish any work for that class, i can't hand things in on time and it's going to bring down my grades. i do good work, i'm just not driven. my teach gives us work that due maybe two months from when she assigns if and the day before it's due i'm up until 1 working on it. i'm failing art because being me i hate doing what i'm told to do. my art teacher keeps threating to call my parents and fail me for the semester. i'm also fail this stupid elective called the world we live in. i've been handing in half finished and late assignments. my immune system is shot and i've had stuff in my throat for since november. i can't remember important things (which is part of my problem in global). my dad pisses me off to no end. he's such a jerk most days and always has to put me down. i barely eat anymore and my sister keeps calling me anorexic which makes it even worse because i don't want to be anorexic and it's scaring me. but i can't help it. i just don't eat lunch for some reason. i never eat breakfast either. plus my sister is a total bitch to me and has to turn everything i say back at me like it's my fault. she treats me like a slave always making me get her things. she'll just sit on her ass doing nothing and i could be do my homework and she'll tell me to get her something like the phone or the remote. we had this huge screaming fight today (jan. 15) because i told her to take her wet boots out of the kitchen, which she then (as always) turned back on me. and when i retaliated she got mad. i spent about 3 hours trying to calm myself down. she, like my obnoxious jerk of a father, always has to put me down and make me feel worthless. she's the kind of sister you can have fun with one day and in the next few days she might drive you to think of suicide. i'm not saying i've thought about it but she could drive me too.

i just really hate my life.

and i know this seems like an odd place to vent but i need to vent to someone who doesn't know me well. i need someone to tell me it's going to be alright but i don't want it to be one of my friends and my family. i wouldn't care if it's some random person off the street. just a simple "it's going to be alright" from a stranger or contact which ever comes first. the only thing is i don't want to be cheered up. and i especially don't want pity. i just want someone to tell me it's alright without trying to make me feel better if that makes any sense.

 

you don't have to say anything at all though. just comment on the picture. i wouldn't care. i just needed to vent to people i don't know. thank you for your time and patience.

 

once again, don't ask me why i do things because i don't even know myself. i'm just odd and random.

Done