An Arkham Interlude- Encore!
====Panassa Studios====
*If you were walking past the studios that night, you might have heard a number of things. The roaring flames of a former arsonist and his dustbin, trying to keep his nature at bay. The sound of two interns hooking up behind the costume closets. Or maybe, you'd have heard the sound of a 500 pound Latino man fly through the air faster than a speeding Bullock. From the rubble, Bane emerged, weakened. Defeated. And at the mercy of a very angry director*
Bane- You *cough* You don't disobey The Society!
Billings- You don't disrespect my art! I'll make my film how I see fit, thank you very much! And there's nothing you can do about it.
*Bane grumbled, but he knew there was little he could do. He grabbed his coat, and left, swearing the kinds of terrible vengeance Billings knew all villains swore. He'd probably tell Calculator that he'd killed or crippled him or something. Heh. Oversized idiot. No one interferes with art*
Actress- Mr Billings, are you ok?
Billings- Quite fine Bea, I.. how about a nightcap?
====One Year Later====
*He was shaking all over. Tonight was the night. He was actually going to win. Not once, not twice but- Breath. Just breath. And smile.*
"-And the Oscar goes to... Dellbert Billings"
*Easy does it. Try to be humble*
Billings- Yes! Yes! Ahem, I mean, thank you very much- all of you! It's a privilege, really. I'd like to thank Mr Walker, for his inspiration. It's a shame he didn't make it. We really were close, so of course I was shocked when I heard he'd gone and killed himself... But. I won't dwell on horrid things. This is a night of celebration, and I intend to do just that. I suppose, first of all, that I will kiss my lovely wife- who, I in fact fell in love with during production. Then, I think I'll pop on over to the Iceberg Lounge, and say hello to some old friends of mine! Yes. The Iceberg Lounge...
*The smell of fine wine and cigars filled the busy interior of the Lounge. And all around the VIP table, people flocked to see Billings. He laughed heartily. Listening to the ballads sang in his honour using a tune remarkably similar to Goldfinger of all things. He couldn't complain. It was all he ever wanted*
"Spellbinder
He's the man
The man with that loving touch
The gentlest touch
He's a mind bender
Beckons you to enter his den of sin
Just walk right in
Hello sweetie, go grab him a beer
Piss off Scarecrow, you can't master fear
For the Society knows he's no kinder
It's their kiss of death! From Mr Spellbinder
Pretty girls, beware of his heart of gold
He's brave and bold.
Hello sweetie, go grab him a beer
Piss off Scarecrow, you can't master fear
For the Society knows he's no kinder
It's their kiss of death! From Mr Spellbinder
Pretty girls, beware of his heart of gold
He's brave and bold.
He's brave and he's bold
Brave and bold.
Brave and bold
He's brave and bold
Brave and bold
Heart of gold!"
Nigma- Riddle me this! Which of here won not one, but seven Oscars in one night?
Joker- Me!
Nigma- No, you clown. Billings!
Sionis- Heh. You deserve it Dell.
Penguin- Well done old sport, waugh waugh!
Billings- Why, thank you Mr Cobblepot! Thank you all! You know, it's funny. I started with nothing. It's only thanks to all that shit you flung my way that I even got here. But I made it. I did! C-List no more.
Joker- C-List no more? No kidding! You're one of us now.
Nigma- Better than us. You actually won!
*Billings took a sip of his martini, trying to wipe the very wide smile on his face*
Billings- Heh, well now, you've- Y'know what, you're right! I did win! Got the gold, got the girl, got 100% on Rotten Tomatoes!
Penguin- Waugh! Hear, hear. A toast. To the Spellbinder. The best of all of us.
*The patrons all raised a glass, and with a chorus of "To Spellbinder" they clapped and cheered. Every one of them was just like him once. He could see them- Human Magnet, Spinner, his old buddy Dekker... And in a way, he pitied them. He grabbed another Martini off the tray and wolfed it down at the sight of another patron making his way to him. Someone he'd rather avoid. Killer Croc. Just for a second Billings looked at him, uneasily, and immediately clutched his prosthetic leg tightly under the table. Just like that the room felt much darker. The lights flickered, and when they came back on, Bane was sitting on the other side of him. A sandwich of sin.*
Billings- Bane... Ha! Look at this loser! Another round, get something stronger for *this* buzzkill haha!
*Bane didn't move. And no one spoke. Croc blew a ring of cigar smoke in Billings' face, and he coughed it up hard.*
Billings- What...? You know me, Jones, you don't frighten me- either of you!
*Croc opened his mouth, revealing row upon row of pointed teeth. But it wasn't his voice that rang out. "You gotta wake up Del," it said.
It was Lynns' signature drawl that was speaking to him. Billings moved further back into the booth. There was no Joker, Riddler or Penguin. The Oscars sprawled across the tables were gone, and the bar was empty. He looked back into "Croc's" eyes, and whimpered*
"But I don't want to."
======
*He was back in his trailer, huddled against the kitchen sink. The Oscar he thought he was clutching was just a bottle of ketchup, and when he looked down his prosthetic was gone. A Paramedic was holding his mask, the source of the illusion, while Gar knelt beside him*
Gar- What the hell were you after, doing a thing like that? What, using your tech to get a high?
*Billings held his ketchup closely to his chest. It wasn't an Oscar, and he was back in hell. He stared back as Lynns*
"Happiness. It was happiness"
====Washington DC====
*Drury rubbed his face. The stubble was growing out again. He had to stop off at a hotel or something, get it shaved before he went full Jedi. He waved down a taxi, and got in- just in time to receive a phone call from Gar*
Gar- Get off the plane fine?
Drury- Aye, I did. In the cab now. Think Gotham will manage in the meantime?
Gar- Oh no, without you, we're royally fucked.
Drury- Funny! You sound happy all things considered. How's Josie?
Gar- Great. The kid's great. And yeah. I mean, I am. Happy, that is. It's a low paying job, sure, and yeah my boss is a fuckin' gorilla now-
Drury- Some thug replaced Billings?
Gar- A literal Gorilla.
Drury- Ahhh.
Gar- But, y'know, it's worth it. Because of her.
Drury- So, you're still saying no.
Gar- Yeah. Yeah, I am. Sorry, but not this time. But, y'know what? I look forward to seeing you fail on live TV. Again.
Drury- Love you too Gar. *He motions to the driver* Yeah, off here please.
Gar- Heh. Listen, good luck.
Drury- And you! With your literal Gorilla boss.
Gar- It's Grodd, actually.
Drury- Ahhh.
Gar- One last thing. Drury, did you call ahead?
Drury- I...
Gar- Fucking hell... Speaking of luck... You'll need it.
*Drury sighs. Why was that damn pyro always right? Mind, he didn't even know if he *had* a phone in the first place, so he's not *really* at fault... It's nice to have a loophole. So. He lived here? Nice place. Very nice actually! And he had those tacky Flamingo statue things! How lovely! ... He was getting side tracked again. He knocked on the door, bracing himself for a quick punch to the face, and...*
"You?"
Drury- Hi Norbert. May I have a cuppa?
An Arkham Interlude- Encore!
====Panassa Studios====
*If you were walking past the studios that night, you might have heard a number of things. The roaring flames of a former arsonist and his dustbin, trying to keep his nature at bay. The sound of two interns hooking up behind the costume closets. Or maybe, you'd have heard the sound of a 500 pound Latino man fly through the air faster than a speeding Bullock. From the rubble, Bane emerged, weakened. Defeated. And at the mercy of a very angry director*
Bane- You *cough* You don't disobey The Society!
Billings- You don't disrespect my art! I'll make my film how I see fit, thank you very much! And there's nothing you can do about it.
*Bane grumbled, but he knew there was little he could do. He grabbed his coat, and left, swearing the kinds of terrible vengeance Billings knew all villains swore. He'd probably tell Calculator that he'd killed or crippled him or something. Heh. Oversized idiot. No one interferes with art*
Actress- Mr Billings, are you ok?
Billings- Quite fine Bea, I.. how about a nightcap?
====One Year Later====
*He was shaking all over. Tonight was the night. He was actually going to win. Not once, not twice but- Breath. Just breath. And smile.*
"-And the Oscar goes to... Dellbert Billings"
*Easy does it. Try to be humble*
Billings- Yes! Yes! Ahem, I mean, thank you very much- all of you! It's a privilege, really. I'd like to thank Mr Walker, for his inspiration. It's a shame he didn't make it. We really were close, so of course I was shocked when I heard he'd gone and killed himself... But. I won't dwell on horrid things. This is a night of celebration, and I intend to do just that. I suppose, first of all, that I will kiss my lovely wife- who, I in fact fell in love with during production. Then, I think I'll pop on over to the Iceberg Lounge, and say hello to some old friends of mine! Yes. The Iceberg Lounge...
*The smell of fine wine and cigars filled the busy interior of the Lounge. And all around the VIP table, people flocked to see Billings. He laughed heartily. Listening to the ballads sang in his honour using a tune remarkably similar to Goldfinger of all things. He couldn't complain. It was all he ever wanted*
"Spellbinder
He's the man
The man with that loving touch
The gentlest touch
He's a mind bender
Beckons you to enter his den of sin
Just walk right in
Hello sweetie, go grab him a beer
Piss off Scarecrow, you can't master fear
For the Society knows he's no kinder
It's their kiss of death! From Mr Spellbinder
Pretty girls, beware of his heart of gold
He's brave and bold.
Hello sweetie, go grab him a beer
Piss off Scarecrow, you can't master fear
For the Society knows he's no kinder
It's their kiss of death! From Mr Spellbinder
Pretty girls, beware of his heart of gold
He's brave and bold.
He's brave and he's bold
Brave and bold.
Brave and bold
He's brave and bold
Brave and bold
Heart of gold!"
Nigma- Riddle me this! Which of here won not one, but seven Oscars in one night?
Joker- Me!
Nigma- No, you clown. Billings!
Sionis- Heh. You deserve it Dell.
Penguin- Well done old sport, waugh waugh!
Billings- Why, thank you Mr Cobblepot! Thank you all! You know, it's funny. I started with nothing. It's only thanks to all that shit you flung my way that I even got here. But I made it. I did! C-List no more.
Joker- C-List no more? No kidding! You're one of us now.
Nigma- Better than us. You actually won!
*Billings took a sip of his martini, trying to wipe the very wide smile on his face*
Billings- Heh, well now, you've- Y'know what, you're right! I did win! Got the gold, got the girl, got 100% on Rotten Tomatoes!
Penguin- Waugh! Hear, hear. A toast. To the Spellbinder. The best of all of us.
*The patrons all raised a glass, and with a chorus of "To Spellbinder" they clapped and cheered. Every one of them was just like him once. He could see them- Human Magnet, Spinner, his old buddy Dekker... And in a way, he pitied them. He grabbed another Martini off the tray and wolfed it down at the sight of another patron making his way to him. Someone he'd rather avoid. Killer Croc. Just for a second Billings looked at him, uneasily, and immediately clutched his prosthetic leg tightly under the table. Just like that the room felt much darker. The lights flickered, and when they came back on, Bane was sitting on the other side of him. A sandwich of sin.*
Billings- Bane... Ha! Look at this loser! Another round, get something stronger for *this* buzzkill haha!
*Bane didn't move. And no one spoke. Croc blew a ring of cigar smoke in Billings' face, and he coughed it up hard.*
Billings- What...? You know me, Jones, you don't frighten me- either of you!
*Croc opened his mouth, revealing row upon row of pointed teeth. But it wasn't his voice that rang out. "You gotta wake up Del," it said.
It was Lynns' signature drawl that was speaking to him. Billings moved further back into the booth. There was no Joker, Riddler or Penguin. The Oscars sprawled across the tables were gone, and the bar was empty. He looked back into "Croc's" eyes, and whimpered*
"But I don't want to."
======
*He was back in his trailer, huddled against the kitchen sink. The Oscar he thought he was clutching was just a bottle of ketchup, and when he looked down his prosthetic was gone. A Paramedic was holding his mask, the source of the illusion, while Gar knelt beside him*
Gar- What the hell were you after, doing a thing like that? What, using your tech to get a high?
*Billings held his ketchup closely to his chest. It wasn't an Oscar, and he was back in hell. He stared back as Lynns*
"Happiness. It was happiness"
====Washington DC====
*Drury rubbed his face. The stubble was growing out again. He had to stop off at a hotel or something, get it shaved before he went full Jedi. He waved down a taxi, and got in- just in time to receive a phone call from Gar*
Gar- Get off the plane fine?
Drury- Aye, I did. In the cab now. Think Gotham will manage in the meantime?
Gar- Oh no, without you, we're royally fucked.
Drury- Funny! You sound happy all things considered. How's Josie?
Gar- Great. The kid's great. And yeah. I mean, I am. Happy, that is. It's a low paying job, sure, and yeah my boss is a fuckin' gorilla now-
Drury- Some thug replaced Billings?
Gar- A literal Gorilla.
Drury- Ahhh.
Gar- But, y'know, it's worth it. Because of her.
Drury- So, you're still saying no.
Gar- Yeah. Yeah, I am. Sorry, but not this time. But, y'know what? I look forward to seeing you fail on live TV. Again.
Drury- Love you too Gar. *He motions to the driver* Yeah, off here please.
Gar- Heh. Listen, good luck.
Drury- And you! With your literal Gorilla boss.
Gar- It's Grodd, actually.
Drury- Ahhh.
Gar- One last thing. Drury, did you call ahead?
Drury- I...
Gar- Fucking hell... Speaking of luck... You'll need it.
*Drury sighs. Why was that damn pyro always right? Mind, he didn't even know if he *had* a phone in the first place, so he's not *really* at fault... It's nice to have a loophole. So. He lived here? Nice place. Very nice actually! And he had those tacky Flamingo statue things! How lovely! ... He was getting side tracked again. He knocked on the door, bracing himself for a quick punch to the face, and...*
"You?"
Drury- Hi Norbert. May I have a cuppa?