Killer Moth: Moth Wars #2- Cockroach

Mortician- Commissioner, I have some unsettling news, during the Signal Man attack, a body was stolen from the morgue.

 

Gordon- Which one?

 

Mortitian- Uh, the file says... Ted Carson? Does that ring a bell?

 

Gordon- Do you want my honest answer? No, I’m afraid it doesn’t. I’ll get someone to look into it.

 

———————

 

Carson- You Moth-Eaten Piece of Shit this wasn’t part of the deal- argh! No!

 

Mr. Moth- Relieving past traumas?

 

Carson- What’s it to you, Walker? What’s with the suit? Very suave.

 

Mr. Moth- Oh ho, you think I’m Drury? No, but I am... a close relative

 

Carson- Would killing you upset him?

 

Mr. Moth- I doubt it. He never cared for me. And I never cared for him. See, I’ve got quite the scheme in mind Mr Carson and I need someone to execute it. I need... The Cockroach!

 

Carson- Yeah. I’m not calling myself that. I’m either Firefly or sir to you. Sometimes Charaxes. And Jackanapes.

 

Mr. Moth- But it’s fitting, isn’t it? Cockroaches are so very hard to kill, like you no? Not to mention they’re disgusting vermin. Heh.

 

Carson- Ay, watch it Bugman! I’m not going to be bossed around, least of all by a Walker!

 

Mr. Moth- Don’t worry, I have every intention of allowing you that chance at revenge you so desire. Just put on the suit and use the name. There’s no point in having two Fireflies. Especially since you don’t use fire. Or fly.

 

Carson- I did. In a different continuity. Where I was competent.

 

Mr. Moth- What are you- ? That Moth God really got in your head didn’t he?

 

Carson- Yeah. Listen, I’ll put this suit on but I’m still not sure on the name. How about Bug Spray? Or Bug Repellent?

 

Mr. Moth- Or how about shutting the fuck up, eh? (Actually those names were cool. I’m not telling HIM that though)

 

Carson- Maybe the Exterminator?

 

Mr. Moth- It’s taken. You’ll use the name I fucking chose for you and you’ll like it!

 

Carson- Cockroach it is then. Do you have a curtain or something where I can change?

Mr. Moth- Out in the open is fine

 

Carson- Yay. (Will I ever find a partner who isn’t some sort of pervert?)

 

———————————

 

Drury- You’ve got to evict him. He’s going to gamble away our son!

 

Miranda- Me? Why?

 

Drury- Because the last time I tried evicting someone we ended up having to fight a literal Moth God. Also because he scares me. He really scares me.

 

Miranda- Oh no. You want rid of him, you’ll have to do it yourself!

 

Drury- Dammit Woman! Fine!

 

—————————————

 

Tiger Shark- Read ‘em and weep boys! Tiger Shark finally wins! I’ll get back my empire in no time!

 

Penguin- Actually, sir. I win. I suppose I’ll be taking the baby?

 

Cammy- Wah!

 

Drury- No you most certainly will not!

 

Penguin- Rules are rules m'boy.

 

Drury- Who would even write those rules?

...

 

Tiger Shark- Ah god. I really shouldn’t have offered up my grandson in a poker game.

 

Thorne- No. Walker’s idiocy is really rubbing off on you.

 

Drury- Really now.

 

Tiger Shark- You don’t know the half of what I put up with “Quickly to the Bat-Pole!” “Up, up and away!”

 

Drury- Sure. Tell everyone.

 

Tiger Shark- Shut up.

 

Drury- Yes sir.

 

Penguin- I think I'll name the infant Terrence. Terrence Cobblepot.

 

*Penguin reaches out to take the baby from Drury's hands*

 

Penguin- I *will* be taking the child now.

 

Drury- Over my dead body.

 

Penguin- Easily arranged. Mind what you say.

 

Tiger Shark- Wait, one more game? To win him back? I lose, I give you... Drury, I give you Drury!

 

Drury- Again! No.

 

Sionis- I'm not going to risk it for him. I'm out.

 

Bone- Meh. I’m in. Are you Ozzie?

 

Penguin- *Waugh* Why not? I could use someone to keep the ladies company. *Waugh*

 

*Waugh*

 

Miranda- What the *hell's* going on here?!

 

...

 

Drury- I told you, we should've evicted him.

Done