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Samhain is the worst cat I've ever met. She is dramatic and vindictive. She chews threw wires and cries when she doesn't get her way. She drinks out of my cups and steals new tampons out of the box. She only will sit with me if I don't move a muscle and she never waits for me to get up in the morning. Happy anniversary monkey. I love you.

This Virginia local gov't vehicle (license # 153-403L) was going south I81 near Roanoke,Va. on Dec.20, 10 to 15 miles an hour over the speed limit (65mph). No emergency lights, no concern for the safety of citizens and no respect for the law.

This was great... we were driving home from chicago and this guy passed us... an old dude driving a hummer... he had to be in his 70s. After getting creative we were able to snap the photo. Thanks to brian for taking the photo since I was driving.

Jusitn has a mannequin. She doesn't have a name.

 

This might possibly be the last polaroid spectra photo I ever take. I took another pic for him to keep, and it didn't develop correctly, and then the pack was empty.

  

Me, Laura Park and Julia Wertz rolling in it.

An Asshole from Spaceballs

Maverick Takes off his shirt before entering the hospital lobby. Gage and Maverick wait in the hospital lobby for 18 hours straight. Maverick is pacing back and forth.

 

Gage: Please stop pacing, Mav.

Maverick: *still pacing* I can't help it I'm fucking worried here.

Gage: Do you think I'm not fucking worried? He's not only our bandmate he's also our friend.

Derek: *walks in* Still waiting on him?

Maverick: Yes.

Gage: And yet Mav won't stop pacing.

Slade: *walks out in a nose splint* Oh fuck it's you. You broke my fucking nose. You're lucky I don't have my band come in here and kick your ass.

Derek: EVERYBODY JUST RELAX!

Slade: You can't tell me what to do.

Derek: I haven't called your record producer, yet. Want me to? *pulls out phone*

Slade: No, no you're right.

 

The doctor comes out pushing Johnny in a wheelchair.

 

Johnny: Hey guys. *looks at Slade* You can just fuck off.

Gage: Tell me Doc, how's his leg?

Maverick: Will he be able to play the drums ever again?

Doctor: Well, he'll have to be in a cast for a few days but it should be ok.

Derek: So I'll assume you took my suggestion, doctor?

Doctor: *looks at Derek* Come with me and I'll tell you. *walks towards a room*

Derek: *follows the doctor*

Slade: Well, I'm out of here. And glad you won the battle of the band Maverick. Nobody can truly replace you. What I'm trying to say is congratulations on winning the battle of the bands. *walks out*

Johnny: I'll just say it, that was fucking weird.

Maverick: Taking an ass-kicking changes a man.

Gage: Glad you are alright.

 

Meanwhile...

 

Doctor: Yes, we did what you requested. He has a cybernetic leg. He'll be able to do whatever in a few days.

Derek: Excellent.

Doctor: Although I must ask, Why did you suggest that?

Derek: I saw the damage, and well that band is my newest clientele. I needed him in top performance.

Doctor: Ok. You used up the one favor I owed you. *hands a bag to Derek* We are now even. *walks out of the room and goes to the break room*

Derek: *walks back to the lobby*

 

Maverick: Taking an ass-kicking change a man.

Gage: Glad you are alright.

Derek: Yes taking an ass kicked does change a man, for the better. That and threats of ruining their life.

Johnny: What's in the bag?

Derek: Your pants Johnny.

Maverick: When you stepped in, why did you say we were your clients? We hadn't agreed to sign with you.

Derek: Because by helping him out, you'd be thankful and sign up. Trust me in about 3 days the band will be fully back. Trust me. But I'll tell you what, In the next three days think about signing with me and allowing me to be your manager. Then come talk to me about your decision. *leaves the hospital in a limo*

Gage: Such a weird guy. and it looks like ill need to get a new guitar. *sighs*

Maverick: let's go back to my home, I got extra rooms. Besides, I could really use a few drinks.

 

As they start going to Maverick's car, Dynamite War throws a few Molotov cocktails at the battle of the band's building. It catches fire. They also vandalize Johnny's car. Maverick opens the back door to his car.

 

Maverick: Gage, help Johnny get into the back seat.

Gage: Yep. *helps get Johnny into the back seat*

Maverick: *looks at the wheelchair then the trunk* This will not work.

 

Maverick inspects the wheelchair and finds a button, pushing the button the wheelchair folds into itself into a cube. He picks up the cube and places it in the trunk of his car. He gets in and as soon as he puts the key in the ignition his phone gives off an alert. He checks his phone noticing that the building he bought is on fire.

 

Maverick: No, no, no, no. FUCK!

Gage: What's wrong?

Maverick: I'll deal with it later.

Johnny: *closes eyes* I need to rest my vision orbs.

Gage: How high are you, Johnny?

Johnny: Yes, mister sea horse centaur.

 

Maverick turns on the radio and just drives to his house, avoiding their practice space. They pull up to his house. He shuts the car off and pops the truck. Getting out of the car he reactivates the wheelchair and helps Johnny out into his chair. He pushes him towards the door of his house. Gage silently follows. Maverick unlocks his house and pushes Johnny into the living room. Gage closes the door behind him. Maverick Disappears for a bit and comes back with two cold beers.

 

Maverick: *hands one to Gage* Drink up. *downs the whole bottle and goes to get another*

Gage: Ok, seriously what is going on?

Johnny: I'm sitting on a cloud hahaha.

Gage: Clearly Johnny is out of it, and the meds must've taken effect.

Maverick: Ok, I'll tell you. Johnny is out of it so he won't remember. *sighs and sits down* Our practice space caught fire. The whole building, just up in flames.

Gage: WTF?

Maverick: We'll figure things out. Let's just knock a few beers back and get some sleep.

Since we were in a hurry, our equipment was left. We'll probably need to replace all of it. But for now, we have to worry about Johnny.

Johnny: No officer, I haven't been drinking. I'll do your tests. *tries to stand up, and falls out of the chair on face*

Gage: I see what you mean. *takes a sip and does a spit take* SHIT! Johnny you ok?

Johnny: See I'm not drunk, officer. *passes out*

Maverick: *sets the beer down and helps Gage put Johnny on the couch* Keep an eye on him while I get him a blanket. 8leaves for a moment and returns with a blanket* Here lay it over top of him. After this bottle, I'm headed to bed. Feel free to have as many beers as you need to calm your nerves.

Gage: Ok. *unfolds and lays the blanket over Johnny*

Maverick: *chugs the bottle setting it down and heads upstairs*

 

Gage stays up for 3 hours drinking a total of ten beers and keeping an eye on Johnny. He passes out after finishing the tenth beer.

 

Maverick comes back downstairs at 10 am. He checks on them. and decides to change clothing and shave his own beard. After shaving, he starts up a pot of coffee. Johnny wakes up.

 

Maverick: Morning, how are you?

Johnny: My face hurts and my leg feels a bit different. What happened after we stepped outside?

Maverick: Well, Slade and his band broke your leg. You blacked out from the pain. Gage broke his guitar hitting Slade.

Johnny: Those assholes.

Maverick: Yea, Slade is a sore loser but he said we definitely deserved the win. That was later in the hospital. The guy that approached us broke Slade's nose.

Johnny: Good, he deserved it. Now, why the hell does my face hurt?

Maverick: You were higher than a kite and you fell out of your wheelchair. The doctor says you'll be fine in 3 days. and everything should go back to normal. So until then we just chill. Coffee?

Johnny: Yes, please.

Maverick: *pours two cups of coffee handing one to Johnny* Here.

Johnny: *takes the cup* Thanks.

Maverick: You're welcome. Now, we just have to wait till Drunkie wakes up.

 

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. Posted by Anonymous to photographerno1 at 9/14/2006 12:15:10 AM

  

My Poem

 

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Addicted To Assholes

Переделал текстуры, удалил все упоминания о "ЙУХ".

This "Chowder Head" that sells himself off as the watch dog of the abandoned Packard Plant here in Detroit is portraying himself as an employee of the piant. He demands tips from parking visitors who come to the plant to take pictures of the graffiti. He is no more of an employee then the pigeons that make their homes in the abandoned building, and is nothing more than an opportunist bilking the unaware.

The Astonishing Assholes is a reinvention of the X-men. Young, jaded assholes that have no purpose but to listen to loud music and smash a few heads. They smoke, drink and fuck. Everything your normal teenager does. Enjoy!

This federal gov't jerk was doing at least 90mph in a 70 zone, passing me on the right, no emer' lights, no nothing except for a complete disregard for the safety of the innocent bystanders.

character self-portrait

Gayyyyyynessssss

And this is the note I kindly posted on my door at the last apartment I stayed at.

photo courtesy www.all4humor.com/picture/funny-pictures/cat-plate.html

 

Dear All,

 

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and so they are giving away their new unwashed Cat Assholes free.

All you need to do is mail this to 8 of your

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a unwashed CatAsshole If you send this email to 20 people

or more, you will receive five unwashed Cat Assholes.

Don't forget to mail a copy of this email to

fingerfucked@gmail.com to ensure

that your participation is noted.

 

With Best Regards,

 

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GM, Marketing

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cc to ville 13

 

asshole parade @ dauntaun, MI

18 05 2007

I recommend enjoying the cute girl in the bikini with the innertube around her neck rather than the topless guy in the Chippendales collar she's holding hands with or the big fat redneck asshole in the background.

At KTRU the transmitter was located across campus from the studio. So that the DJ could take the legally required transmitter meter readings every hour, the plate voltage and current of the final amplifying tube were telemetered to this panel in the studio. This was done the cheapest way possible, of course. The Analog System Specifying Hourly Operating Log Entries, or ASSHOLE, was kept in adequate calibration thanks to regular adjustments by the Chief Engineer.

 

Below, the legally required modulation monitor, which listens to the over-the-air signal and measures the audio level, for compliance with the rules about how often it can exceed the nominal maximum, and by how much. This was probably the single most expensive piece of equipment in the studio, and fortunately one of the few items to survive the great flood, being mounted at eye level.

 

Above, the Emergency Broadcast System receiver, which monitors a designated commercial AM radio station for the activation tone and automatically unmutes the audio. This allows the DJ to listen to the EBS announcement from that station. If it was just a test, the event was logged. If it was an actual EBS activation, the DJ was supposed to transmit our own EBS activation tone and then repeat the information for our listeners. Inside the fancy rack-mount case was the guts of a cheap transistor radio and a little garage-made circuit board with the tone decoder. That company is still making broadcast gear today.

Lee Anne and I spent the day with Eric taking photos for potential Emotion Eric adventures!

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