Chip off the old block?

I'm not sure how to explain this.

 

It's been a rough couple of weeks. I mean, I deal with stress well. It's gotten me to where I am now, and I'll likely have to endure much more down the line. That's okay.

 

But.. after a while, when you develop a fantastic tolerance for self-denial, a part of you withers away behind your back. It happens when I realize I have no idea what I "want," in the grand scheme of things, when I get really caught up with schoolwork.

 

The toughest is when it seems like I can't feel anything anymore. Just completely disconnected from things that normally makes someone sad or happy. I plod along, hoping it'll somehow work itself out in the end.

 

This is not entirely surprising, since self-denial has always been a point of pride in our family. I was weaned on stories of family friends who've worked the hardest, put up with the most shit, and somehow succeeded in spite of all that adversity. Abstention from worldly pleasures is a badge of honor.

 

I wish I could step back and reconsider some choices, without feeling like I'm chickening out.

 

 

 

 

Done