Spi-V
Crash
I'm so good at acting the part, you know, after so many years of avoiding life I'm so good at it already. So every once in a while I go searching for pools to jump in,just to prove to those around me that I am giving life a chance... and I always seem to find one on the outskirts of the neighborhood. Its old and peeling away, sun-drenched and pale, empty of water (but of course) ... and I stand on the edge and shout " look at me! I'm jumping in! you see I am trying! I am giving things a chance and I'm not afraid of emotion!!! you hear me?" the only person around is the guard or a passing stranger who finds it very amusing and comes over to watch... they usually spend some time with me, they love to pick my brain and have fun...I'm fun so it works out. But then they have to go on home and on with their lives, while I stay there after crashing in the empty pool. The sun is setting ,the day is done and I'm abandoned once again thinking " Hey I tried and its worth shit!"
At the end of the day I finally realized how scared I AM. of emotion, of relationships, of letting someone IN to my life but really into my life.
How scared I am of being seen and how scared I am of being taken seriously.
How scared I am of growing up. Growing old, Growing weary and tired. So I just give up all together, I don't have any wishes for myself and my life, I have no dreams or plans or wants, I just sleep through everything crash into walls and that's about it...
This last love woke me up big time! I hope I see this through this time and finally open my eyes...
and see me.
Crash
I'm so good at acting the part, you know, after so many years of avoiding life I'm so good at it already. So every once in a while I go searching for pools to jump in,just to prove to those around me that I am giving life a chance... and I always seem to find one on the outskirts of the neighborhood. Its old and peeling away, sun-drenched and pale, empty of water (but of course) ... and I stand on the edge and shout " look at me! I'm jumping in! you see I am trying! I am giving things a chance and I'm not afraid of emotion!!! you hear me?" the only person around is the guard or a passing stranger who finds it very amusing and comes over to watch... they usually spend some time with me, they love to pick my brain and have fun...I'm fun so it works out. But then they have to go on home and on with their lives, while I stay there after crashing in the empty pool. The sun is setting ,the day is done and I'm abandoned once again thinking " Hey I tried and its worth shit!"
At the end of the day I finally realized how scared I AM. of emotion, of relationships, of letting someone IN to my life but really into my life.
How scared I am of being seen and how scared I am of being taken seriously.
How scared I am of growing up. Growing old, Growing weary and tired. So I just give up all together, I don't have any wishes for myself and my life, I have no dreams or plans or wants, I just sleep through everything crash into walls and that's about it...
This last love woke me up big time! I hope I see this through this time and finally open my eyes...
and see me.