Congress Rolls Back Gas Prices!
In an unprecedented and historic move, Congress banned their so-called "campaign contributions", those funds that corporations use to buy lawmaking.
With no bribes to solicit and basically nothing better to do than actually focus on running the country and solving its problems, Congress then balanced the budget. With Europe having their own financial issues with Greece, Portugal and Ireland, the new solvent U.S. status resulted in a return to the Euro being worth $0.87 USD instead its recent value of $1.45. "If you didn't double your personal wealth in the past 10 years, you got robbed" summarized one lawmaker. "Most Americans never quote figured out that in exchange for the lure of a few pennies in their pockets, they lost half their wealth in global terms. It was a double whammy, because Saudi Arabia had to raise gas prices to compensate. Basically by restoring a balanced budget while the Euro tanked, we've given it all back to you."
The bulk of the savings was accomplished by cutting the defense budget in half. "We really didn't need to outspend the entire rest of the world combined, we simply had to increase spending each year to get our yearly bribes from defense contractors. The 'go it alone' approach and was a red herring anyway, it never really bought us any extra security. If Europe wants to fight terrorism, it's high time they paid half the cost, and put up half the manpower on the ground." To accomplish greater security at lower cost, Congress simply shut down the programs which funded Sadam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden, Hamid Karzai, and the Iraq War. "We realized that we'd have fewer terrorists to fight if we stopped training and funding them, and if we stopped orphaning children who then grow up to hate us" said a defense analyst at the press briefing. (Duh!)
In another bill, all subsidies going towards the oil and gas industry, over $15 billion per year, have been reversed in the form of a rebate back to U.S. consumers. "We took it from the American public for no good reason, we shouldn't have done that and the funds weren't going to any constructive purpose, so we're giving it back" said one Senator, who requested anonymity.
In addition, Congress has set up a fund to help families driven into poverty by the former collapse of the global value of the U.S. Dollar under previous defecit spending policies. Senatore Inhofe of Oklahoma was the first to contribute, returing all of the $500,000+ he has pocketed from fossil fuel interests. Dianne Feinstein was next, returning bags and bags of money (still being counted) from high tech companies and outsourcing firms who have used her precious H1-B immigrant worker program to treat incoming workers like indentured servants, paying well below market wages, preventing them from changing jobs, and keeping them in line under the constant threat of deportation. "What can I say, maybe we've developed a conscience" she said, to which someone in the back of the room murmered, "Yeah, and vampire bats have stopped sucking blood." She continued, "But you know I'm used to making $73 million in profit after my campaign expenses of $1.4 million, so if anyone want to send me a few bucks, here's my Paypal account..." She also commented on the immigration reform passed earlier in the day. "You bought that line we used for so many years that restricting immigration was racists? Immigration results in a flood of lower cost labor, hurting immigrant-Americans the most!" (She had to pause for a long time at this point, laughing uncontrollably.) "We also repealed the tax cuts for the wealthy. It was killing our budget and destroyed the U.S. economy as we transferred wealth to the top 1%, and they simply weren't circulating that back into the economy. Again, we lied to you , and we're really, really sorrry that some of you fell for it. Job growth doesn't come from giving small businesses a bonus for doing nothing, or we would have seen the economy booming as a result of the last 10 years. Clearly we didn't. It turns out that when the rich pay a fair share, they have to work harder, to expand their businesses to make more money. We tried brain surgery on the U.S. economy, and the patient died. So we removed that subsidy from 99% of us to a small fraction of the top 1%. We've also increased funding for education, now that we no longer need to dumb you down to believe whatever propaganda we throw at you. To start to reverse the damage, we've added a Comon Sense 101 course requirement that everyone has to take and pass before they can gradaute from high school."
Almost as an afterthought, Congress also passed tort reform, reducing outlandish awards for nuisance lawsuits that have driven up the cost of healthcare. They also banned the industry standard practice of bundling unnecessary serivces, and passed a provision that requires a healthcare provider to allow patients to preview costs and refuse overpriced and potentially unnecessary procedures. "Oh well, there goes my yacht" joked Senator Leiberman from Connecticut, where most insurance companies are headquartered "but at least I don't need to have so many unneccesary deaths and additional bankruptcies on my conscience from when we let costs get so out of control."
...
And then I woke up!
But I drove by this sign a few hours later. It said $2.35 on the other side, so it was from only about 10 years ago (gas was $1.72 when Bush took office). It's sobering to see such a vivid reminder of the former health of the U.S. economy, and to consider just how far we fell and how fast. Everywhere I go rural businesses are failed and for sale, as the middle class no longer travels and spends, having been squeezed into oblivion with no political party to represent them, not receiving tax cuts big enough to offset their job losses and the plunge in the value of their dollars. As George Carlin put it, "...the owners of this country know the truth - it's called the American Dream: because you have to be asleep to believe it."
Can we reverse the trend? Only if we take control of Congress. Vote every one of them out of office. Every time. Stop letting them get way with this carnage. Only when they realize that we're not completely brian dead, and we will hold them accountable, with they start to listen. Then push two key issues forward. First, eliminate the legalized purchase of lawmaking and spending : acknowledge that the acceptance of payments by lawmakers is bribery, and classify it under treason laws, punishable by death. Second, we need term limits, one maybe two terms at most. No more career politicians, spendin all their time pursuing money and doing favors for their buddies instead of genuinely working on the country's problems. Will it happen? Not likely while we accept party designation hook, line and sinker, while we fail to think critically about the silly things that politicians tell us to think, and while we consider the topic of politics taboo. If you want to make a difference, reject party affiliation, and point out the ridiculousness of our current system's extreme party positions at every chance you get.
Consider this: neither party is working on our problems, because they maximize the lobbying dollars in their pockets if they drag out every issue indefinitely. We've allowed our system to degenerate into a public farce, a comedy of actors pretending to do things, and above all pretending to care. Can we perhaps push campaign finance reform through to end the bribery? Who would pay for that issue to make center stage, and which lawmakers would vote to cut their own pay 98%?
Congress Rolls Back Gas Prices!
In an unprecedented and historic move, Congress banned their so-called "campaign contributions", those funds that corporations use to buy lawmaking.
With no bribes to solicit and basically nothing better to do than actually focus on running the country and solving its problems, Congress then balanced the budget. With Europe having their own financial issues with Greece, Portugal and Ireland, the new solvent U.S. status resulted in a return to the Euro being worth $0.87 USD instead its recent value of $1.45. "If you didn't double your personal wealth in the past 10 years, you got robbed" summarized one lawmaker. "Most Americans never quote figured out that in exchange for the lure of a few pennies in their pockets, they lost half their wealth in global terms. It was a double whammy, because Saudi Arabia had to raise gas prices to compensate. Basically by restoring a balanced budget while the Euro tanked, we've given it all back to you."
The bulk of the savings was accomplished by cutting the defense budget in half. "We really didn't need to outspend the entire rest of the world combined, we simply had to increase spending each year to get our yearly bribes from defense contractors. The 'go it alone' approach and was a red herring anyway, it never really bought us any extra security. If Europe wants to fight terrorism, it's high time they paid half the cost, and put up half the manpower on the ground." To accomplish greater security at lower cost, Congress simply shut down the programs which funded Sadam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden, Hamid Karzai, and the Iraq War. "We realized that we'd have fewer terrorists to fight if we stopped training and funding them, and if we stopped orphaning children who then grow up to hate us" said a defense analyst at the press briefing. (Duh!)
In another bill, all subsidies going towards the oil and gas industry, over $15 billion per year, have been reversed in the form of a rebate back to U.S. consumers. "We took it from the American public for no good reason, we shouldn't have done that and the funds weren't going to any constructive purpose, so we're giving it back" said one Senator, who requested anonymity.
In addition, Congress has set up a fund to help families driven into poverty by the former collapse of the global value of the U.S. Dollar under previous defecit spending policies. Senatore Inhofe of Oklahoma was the first to contribute, returing all of the $500,000+ he has pocketed from fossil fuel interests. Dianne Feinstein was next, returning bags and bags of money (still being counted) from high tech companies and outsourcing firms who have used her precious H1-B immigrant worker program to treat incoming workers like indentured servants, paying well below market wages, preventing them from changing jobs, and keeping them in line under the constant threat of deportation. "What can I say, maybe we've developed a conscience" she said, to which someone in the back of the room murmered, "Yeah, and vampire bats have stopped sucking blood." She continued, "But you know I'm used to making $73 million in profit after my campaign expenses of $1.4 million, so if anyone want to send me a few bucks, here's my Paypal account..." She also commented on the immigration reform passed earlier in the day. "You bought that line we used for so many years that restricting immigration was racists? Immigration results in a flood of lower cost labor, hurting immigrant-Americans the most!" (She had to pause for a long time at this point, laughing uncontrollably.) "We also repealed the tax cuts for the wealthy. It was killing our budget and destroyed the U.S. economy as we transferred wealth to the top 1%, and they simply weren't circulating that back into the economy. Again, we lied to you , and we're really, really sorrry that some of you fell for it. Job growth doesn't come from giving small businesses a bonus for doing nothing, or we would have seen the economy booming as a result of the last 10 years. Clearly we didn't. It turns out that when the rich pay a fair share, they have to work harder, to expand their businesses to make more money. We tried brain surgery on the U.S. economy, and the patient died. So we removed that subsidy from 99% of us to a small fraction of the top 1%. We've also increased funding for education, now that we no longer need to dumb you down to believe whatever propaganda we throw at you. To start to reverse the damage, we've added a Comon Sense 101 course requirement that everyone has to take and pass before they can gradaute from high school."
Almost as an afterthought, Congress also passed tort reform, reducing outlandish awards for nuisance lawsuits that have driven up the cost of healthcare. They also banned the industry standard practice of bundling unnecessary serivces, and passed a provision that requires a healthcare provider to allow patients to preview costs and refuse overpriced and potentially unnecessary procedures. "Oh well, there goes my yacht" joked Senator Leiberman from Connecticut, where most insurance companies are headquartered "but at least I don't need to have so many unneccesary deaths and additional bankruptcies on my conscience from when we let costs get so out of control."
...
And then I woke up!
But I drove by this sign a few hours later. It said $2.35 on the other side, so it was from only about 10 years ago (gas was $1.72 when Bush took office). It's sobering to see such a vivid reminder of the former health of the U.S. economy, and to consider just how far we fell and how fast. Everywhere I go rural businesses are failed and for sale, as the middle class no longer travels and spends, having been squeezed into oblivion with no political party to represent them, not receiving tax cuts big enough to offset their job losses and the plunge in the value of their dollars. As George Carlin put it, "...the owners of this country know the truth - it's called the American Dream: because you have to be asleep to believe it."
Can we reverse the trend? Only if we take control of Congress. Vote every one of them out of office. Every time. Stop letting them get way with this carnage. Only when they realize that we're not completely brian dead, and we will hold them accountable, with they start to listen. Then push two key issues forward. First, eliminate the legalized purchase of lawmaking and spending : acknowledge that the acceptance of payments by lawmakers is bribery, and classify it under treason laws, punishable by death. Second, we need term limits, one maybe two terms at most. No more career politicians, spendin all their time pursuing money and doing favors for their buddies instead of genuinely working on the country's problems. Will it happen? Not likely while we accept party designation hook, line and sinker, while we fail to think critically about the silly things that politicians tell us to think, and while we consider the topic of politics taboo. If you want to make a difference, reject party affiliation, and point out the ridiculousness of our current system's extreme party positions at every chance you get.
Consider this: neither party is working on our problems, because they maximize the lobbying dollars in their pockets if they drag out every issue indefinitely. We've allowed our system to degenerate into a public farce, a comedy of actors pretending to do things, and above all pretending to care. Can we perhaps push campaign finance reform through to end the bribery? Who would pay for that issue to make center stage, and which lawmakers would vote to cut their own pay 98%?